Rush
by Syropeify
Summary: DISCONTINUED REPOSTRobinxStarfire, StarfirexRedStar, StarfirexRedX, Inspired by Ondaatje's beautiful writing...A story of love, loss and life.
1. Chapter 1

He stands where the wind licks the salt from his neck. Hues of fire melting into unborn skies. He smells the pollution of the city, tastes the sin of corrupted whores. He reaches his hand out to grasp nothingness. He is enigmatic. Hiding emotions unseen by those who view him in solar eclipses.

He is unfamiliar with emotions of desire and love and how the two can swirl together into masses of fixed limbs and fateful sighs.

He knows only the darkness of battle, the light of goodness and the lines that cross his eyes on shadowed days.

Night fell fast, night filled up the mountains and settled over the water and he was left once more with the lamp of the moon.

She watches metaphors dance across flickering screens. An alien in their midst. A Tamaran angel. She cannot help the mixed words of grammatical errors flowing from her mouth while those around mock and amuse her.

-You don't eat much anymore-

Green eyes. Fangs. She registers the eyes always. She can see them, feel them. She shrugs off his concern. Her attention poised once more upon lights dancing across the wall. She is tired and yet sleep does not concern her. These are not sins of omission but signs of preoccupation.

She stands and walks away. Down long corridors filled with strange scents and forgotten battles. She runs the tips of her fingers across the texture of the smooth wall. Only she could feel the small dents of life there.

She remembers everything. Everything touched by her senses. Every flutter when he walks into the room. Every heartbreak when he leaves.

After Slade she feels lost. Uncertain of her own fate. Should she return home? Is she needed here?

I cannot describe the sense of loss she feels wandering streets of indifference and hate. The person she wishes to revert back to. The person she wishes to become.

Her green eyes glow against mirrors. He watches them in secret. Always in secret.

The enigmatic boy.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Sorry bout that random first chapter, was just in a bit of a mood, Hope you all liked it! Anyways some complaints about style, saying it should be poetry. This isn't poetry. It's a story. A very different concept of writing.

music-spirit

Starfire sits atop places long conquered by vanquished foes. Breezes kiss her sun-streaked eyes.

Crisp parchment swirled heavily onto cold floors. She memorizes the texture. Foreign to her. New to her. She feels darkness filling her soul. Slowly she rips the paper. Piece by piece as the wind carries it across dazed lands.

She touches the sky, reaching for he that falls forever.

_My name is Red Star and you may go at anytime you wish. It is I who may not leave. _

Forever in the blackened light he cascades into her eyes.

She can feel him, feel his strength and sincerity. Feel the warmth he leaves one last time in the palm of her outstretched hand.

_You must understand. What happened was an accident, and it was a long time ago._

She lets the cold embrace her form. Lifting fingers into scaling places. A golden eye.

_The life I had before was a difficult one, but suited me well._

She shies away from burning rays.

-Did you love him?-

-No, I understood him-

-Is there a difference?-

-Always-

His façade hides his eyes as he accuses her delicate shape. The romantic dazzle of her hair. He knows he has come across a love story. This is only a love story. He does not wish for plot and all its consequences.

-What about…_him_-

-I do not know-

Robin could pick up a porcupine and thrash it against the fence not caring how many quills were flung into his hands and neck in retaliation. He watches her glide away into sadness.

Electronics fizz and pages whirl. In the midst of metal and magic friendships emerge. The rejected and the scorned. Raven and Cyborg form a bond untouchable by others.

Blue capes flying into seas of nothing.

-You are a big help-

-Thank you-

In silence they work. Callused hands and trembling fingers creating artificial life, artificial souls. Soulful eyes watch, singing softly to accompany the precious words of peace.

-If I told you that I…-

-What does it matter?-

-It doesn't-

-Then don't-

-I cannot help it-

-I know, neither can I-

Robin wants her. _Her. _He wishes Starfire can taste his love.

His hand clutches hers to find nothing. To find her ghost wandering cross tainted streets. He remembers the time he lost her. He forgets the time he lost himself.

Far away Starfire waits for _him. _To understand what he is to her. What she is to _him_. On those cold days she's with _him_. She would lie on her stomach, _his_ hand under her, the shudder of the passing train, the Apalachicola boxcars, reaching through _his_ palm to her breast.

Then _he_ would leave only a trace of red behind.

The façade fades as Red-x perches solitary in night's eyes. He searches for truth, for answers. He is alone, surrounded by the crowd. He is nothing and he is everything.


	3. Chapter 3

Violence litters the streets, and yet the five do not concern themselves.

Beastboy melts his mind into artificial realms. Gloved thumbs pressing buttons in hopes of triumph.

He remembers Tara. Golden hair and crystal eyes. The way she loved him. The way she destroyed him.

He knows she does not wish for him the way he aches for her.

-Hey green dude-

Warm steel and melodic humming comforts Beastboy. He knows Beastboy is hurting. He understands the wrath of rejection.

They lay together under seas of crumpled sheets and tossed blankets. Sweat clinging to red manes as sheathed hands memorize lines of sculpted beauty.

-Why do you never touch me-?

-I always touch you-

-No…truly touch me-

Red-X stands away from her. Away from virginal innocence. He cannot let his blood-stained hands touch such beauty.

-Why do you come for me Star?-

-He does not touch me-

-He cannot touch you-

Starfire walks into moonlight. Rays illuminate perfection of milky limbs and emerald eyes.

-We cannot do this anymore…-

They both know. Both know that Starfire holds a passion for another. Both know that Red-X can never love.

-No…but we will- He takes her supple form into his arms, lips against lips…across salty skin. He can feel her heart beating as he eases himself inside her. Gloved hands tracing across pliant skin.

-I want to love her-

Robin sits in a darkened abyss. Violet eyes search his.

-I know-

Raven mediates, legs crossed as minds focus.

-I cannot love her-

-You will not let yourself love her. She will be gone. She will leave. She will find another-

-I know-

He stands and walks away, fingering magic.

-Let go Robin-

He paces the room. He cannot forget his purpose. He cannot forget what he owes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: Hey thanks to TF for awesome reviews. Those who are having problems understanding, it's a very abstract story…a writing style very different from others. Just something I'm experimenting with. I apologize for format, my page breaks aren't working. I tend to write in shorter chapters…live with it lol!**

She fingers the soft material slipping through her hand. He has left her. She does not know if he will return. She never knows.

She lies back against tainted sheets, the cool silk brushing her aching limbs. She falls into a dream filled slumber, Erebus painting black on her eyes.

_-I am sorry to confuse. You are no prisoner here-_

_She feels him there. Through the glass. Understands his isolation. _

_-I found you outside…When my proximity alarm sounded-_

_-I am most thankful for that, but why must you isolate yourself? Do I have the germs?-_

_-I mean no disrespect. Most people have great fear of me. I have an energy within. It can be dangerous.-_

_-I have no such fear. And you need not worry. My people are most resilient-_

_In those moments of insecurity she teaches him love. She strokes her fingers along his power. Lips taste salty skin as bodies melt and merge. _

_Between two strangers a bond is formed. _

_Later she stands close to his power, allowing his warmth to envelop her. The others come for her with cheers of delight echoing the vacant hall. _

_She looks at the one she loves, gazes at the one she loved. Deep down she will lose one. On the surface she will win another._

_In chaos and confusion she grabs him. The one who she will lose. With hands held tightly she takes him away from pain. _

Starfire awakes from troubled memories. Morning light casts halos around her delicate form. She wanders to the terrace, the golden rays burning her skin. She does not belong here. Has never belonged here.

In those precious moments of dawn Starfire understands her place in life.

* * *

Robin and Kidflash train on grounds below. Speed against cunning. Wit against bravery.

-She's leaving-

A strike against the brow.

-I know-

-You will do nothing?-

A kick to the stomach.

-I will not stop her-

In tornados of sunset Kidflash leaves, Robin collapses on the ground. He struggles for breath. In blaring light stands the one he cannot grasp. She reaches out her palm and turns away.

She is gone.

* * *

-What do we do now?-

Beastboy fidgets with paper on the table. He does not like change. Cannot comprehend it.

-There are others. She is not the only warrior-

-She is the only Starfire-

Robin walks away.

Later he will realize his mistake. Later he will know the damage he has done to himself. To her.

But for now Robin can only think in terms of what is right. Of self sacrifice to those not blessed with strength and courage like his own. To those who have not suffered great losses.

* * *

Atop the T tower Red-X watches all. Watches his lover whisk away into the sky. Watches Robin fight internal battles.

He will not interfere. He will not taunt. He knows that everyone has lost something in order to gain more.

He can only hope that she, the essences of innocence and beauty will come back. To him. To everyone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: Sorry haven't updated for a while, been so busy with school. **

She wanders across the desert skies, over seas sinking into sunsets. She has changed in the years she has been gone from her world of birth, from the world she called home. Her once boyish figure has taken on muscular curves, her modest clothes replaced by those worn by Amazon warriors, tempting men with its revealing nature.

Her hair has taken on its own form, long, a brilliant crimson.

She has evolved from a young girl, filled with naivety and soft petals to a woman, surrounded by erotic scents, petals replaced by stone.

Her once glowing green eyes have taken on hues of flames. She has searched endlessly for the one that only she could understand.

She senses her hostile welcome and chooses to return under the Erebus's blanket.

* * *

He sits silently, watching as cars clash with racing lights. His raven hair held back by that which obscures his eyes. Muscles melting into blue and black skin. He is solitary, isolated. He has driven all away and alone searches meaninglessly for crime. For punishment.

His mind often wanders back to times before the teen titans, to times even before his regime with batman. He strangely begins to confuse his sense of right and wrong, after years of enforcing virtues.

He does not realize that she is coming back. He does not think of her anymore. He does not want to see her soft image in his mind, painting his thoughts. He does not want to imagine her beauty.

He steals away into the night, letting darkness envelope his broad form.

* * *

-She is coming back, she will, I know it-

Beast boy sits with Raven. They have not separated into oblivion. He keeps her company, remains quiet in her meditations. He does not stray away.

-_She _is not coming back. Starfire is returning…but it will not be our Starfire-

Raven knows what to expect. Her long ebony hair inching down her back. She has turned to darker forms of magic, magic she only once touched before. She does not harm, but controls. She does not search out the ambiguous Robin, knowing he can never identify himself as such. She does not long for days of their lives together.

-I wish Cyborg was here-

Indeed, his presence had been missed. His parts slowly failed, unable to regenerate, his body going into failure, his metallic and flesh tossed into garbage chutes down below.

Her symbols glow a dangerous white as beast boy watches. Her eyes flash before becoming soulless as she disappears from his grasp.

-Raven? Raven…- he knows she has gone deep within herself to not return. In departing, Beast boys gives an apology, of resentment…and becomes a shape of his liking, disappearing into twilight.


End file.
